


Trees Suck (And So Does Everything Else)

by Voolffman



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Camp Camp nonsense, Gen, I love this show, i guess, just fluff, mild fear of heights, or humorous nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 21:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11860221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voolffman/pseuds/Voolffman
Summary: Climb-trees-to-experience-the-beauty-of-nature camp? Who wouldn't want to do such a fun camp? Maybe Max?Warning:Gratuitous amounts of cursing by 10 year olds (Max)





	Trees Suck (And So Does Everything Else)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, okay, I usually don't curse this much. Even when I'm tired, cranky, and hungry, most of it usually stays in my head.....but well this is camp camp. In all honesty this probably has less cursing than in the show.....  
> I'm actually more like David most of the time....

Breakfast. Breakfast was usually mildly calmer in the mornings of the usually chaotic summer camp. Usually.  
“Go die in a fucking hole!” Max shouted at David.  
“Max, language. And good morning to you, too,” he said in a mildly admonishing tone, before racing off to help his fellow counselor, Gwen, to stop Nurf from taping Preston to the wall.  
Max cringed in disgust as he turned to his ally, Neil, who was reading an old apple magazine, “Neil, you're fucking drooling again.”  
“She’s so hot,” he whispered.  
Nikki leaned in confused, “I don't get it, Neil….”  
Max gave Neil a look, “Dude, that's a fucking computer!”  
Leaning away from the barely lukewarm mashed potatoes, Nekoda sighed, “Whatever Max. What's today’s camp, anyway?”  
As if having super hearing, David perked up from untangling himself from the duct tape, Preston, and Gwen. “I'm glad you asked Neil! Today's camp is -”  
****************  
“You've gotta be shitting me,” Max deadpanned.  
Gwen grumbled as she gazed at the group of dispassionate youth, “Yes, you little shit. Now accept it, listen to David, and move on. Or so help me-”  
She didn't get to finish her sentence as David called her over for something in a bag.  
Neil looked skeptically at the brochure, “Climb-trees-to-experience-the-beauty-of-nature camp? Who signed up for this bullshit?”  
Nikki squealed excitedly, “Ooo! I wanna find some baby hawks to train and love. So they'll steal the family jewels of my ex lovers!”  
Max's eyes looked over at the green haired girl worriedly, “The actual fuck Nikki?”  
Standing in front of the group of rowdy campers, David held up a very cheap disposable camera, “Now campers, we have some nice cameras so you can take pictures of the beautiful vistas you will experience while in the trees! But since we only have four cameras, we will have three groups of three, and one group of two.”  
Immediately Max, Nikki, and Neil grouped together in order to preserve at least some of their sanity. Gwen then proceeded to hand a camera to each group before allowing the groups to choose a tree to climb.  
Running over to the tallest tree she could find, Nikki jumped up and down pointing at, “Ooo, come on guys! This one! This one!”  
Neil and Max exchanged dubious looks.  
Neil just shrugged his shoulders and followed the hyper girl up the tree.  
Max sighed, “It's gonna go to shit anyway….” Then he, too, followed them up the tree.  
*******************  
“We're stuck,” Neil observed from the tallest branch he could get on.  
“Uh huh,” Nikki agreed as she leaned close to a nest of something.  
Max looked at the ground that was much farther down than he particularly preferred; he went back to watching the ants on the trunk. “Yeah, no shit Sherlock. It's been two hours.”  
“Max! Nikki! Neil!” they heard David call from far below them.  
“Yeah!” the three campers yelled back.  
“It's been two hours! Would you mind coming down now?!” he queried, looking up and spotting his three campers.  
Seeing as how the other two probably wouldn't answer (Max because he's a stubborn shit and Nikki because she was trying to grab an egg) Neil answered for them, “We're stuck!”  
Max scowled (pouted), “No we're the fuck not!” he said as he looked to the side.  
Sighing, David called, “Alright, Max, then you get down!”  
The little trouble maker froze for half a second before yelling, “Nah, if I stay up here I don't have to go back to that Hell you call ‘Camp'.” Then as an afterthought, “Hey, do think if I jumped I'd survive? Cuz I'm thinking I wouldn't. ”  
That was not what David needed/wanted to hear. “Gweeeeeeeeennnnn!!!!” he cried, “We need the ladder!!!!!”  
“Okay, okay! I'm getting the ladder!” she reassured the other counselor, running to get the ladder.  
Looking up the tree sternly, David yelled, “Now no jumping while Gwen gets the ladder!”  
“No promises!” Max yelled.  
***********************  
Once the ladder was placed where the campers could get to it, Nikki practically slid down the ladder, Neil cautiously made his way down, and Max stayed where he was, seated on the branch.  
“Come on down Max!” David called to boy.  
“No! I'm good up here! Might jump in a couple hours. I dunno. It's a possibility!” he yelled back. Still not looking down.  
David sighed, he seemed to do that a lot around the kid, “Max, would you like me to come get you down?”  
That seemed to get the little rascal’s attention, scowling Max yelled at him, “Fuck NO!” So he slowly and very carefully made his way down the ladder. When he reached the bottom, David smiled broadly at him, “Good job Max!”  
Max scowled at him, til a huge acorn hit David's head. The poor counselor rubbed his head; acorns hurt!  
Max smirked to himself, if only it had been a branch, or even better, the whole damn tree.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! ;-)  
> also, out of sheer and simple curiosity, did anyone catch the Applegeeks reference?


End file.
